Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
