If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
