Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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