the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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