I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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