we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
