he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
