we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
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If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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