i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
