just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
