How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
