You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
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By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize