I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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