She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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