Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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