K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
