so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
