So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
