just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
