Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
