drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
false alarm, still single
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