i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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