Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
