So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
