if only i could text you this smell
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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