Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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