The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
