i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize