i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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