I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
