I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
