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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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