Betty ford says i'm here all night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
