Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
