WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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