Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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