He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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