Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Still dying that you shit outside
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
