Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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