I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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