your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
