called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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