I need help removing her.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
