Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
