Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
