I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
