If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize