I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like a drive thru vagina
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
