Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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