Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
