Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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