Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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