I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
