Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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