There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Your penis caused this!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
