I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
