My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize