actually, I'm a sock model
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
