Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
