i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
